hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
