Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
