he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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