yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
