I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
