Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
