I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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