glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
