Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
