Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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