Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
