I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
