he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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