You don't have asthma, your pregnant
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
