Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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