That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
