i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
