You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
