i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
