I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
