She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He better not be in your backpack
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
