THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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