she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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