playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
