i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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