Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
