I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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