I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
