I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
