i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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