Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
