somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
