yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
