You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
