Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
