i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
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Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
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First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.