Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up