The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
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Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
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Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark