problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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