Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
