i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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