We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
