last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i think we sleep fucked last night...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
