Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
