Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
