its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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