he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
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We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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