he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
