Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
