when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
