i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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