I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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