My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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