R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
