no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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