party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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