I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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