8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
