he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
