So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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