oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
