her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
