the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
